Janked Up Twilight Story
by dreambutterfly
Summary: My two friends and I were bored in class, so we decided to write this. There will be more but right now it's Spring Break. Basically, just a weird version of Twilight. We made alot of grammer errors and such but it's funny to us.
1. Chapter 1

Messed up story about Twilight that me and my friends are writing. We don't own the characters.

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Bella walks to English while eating a pop tart. Meanwhile, in the shadows, Mike was imagining her unclothed while sharing the pop tart. When all of a sudden, Edward popped out of nowhere and said out loud what Mike as imagining.

"Bella is my girl!" Edward yelled. Bella came in, "Whose girl am I?" She spoke while crumbs were sticking to her mouth.

"You're _mine_." said Edward. "Whoa whoa whoa. As far as I'm concerned I'm not a piece of land and none of you paid for me. So back off."

"Well at least from what I can remember that's not what you said last night in your bedroom." Edward said staring at Bella's breasts. Mike stared at Edward in Aw. "Oh no you didn't!" Jessica randomly said while grabbing Mike's arm. "Bella your nipples are showing." She said while leaving with Mike.

Bella looked down and blushed scarlet. "Edward! What the hell did you say that for?" Bella said while covering her hard nipples with her arms.

"Well it's true. You did a lot of "Oh Baby, don't stop. Your always mine," remember that because I do and it felt sooo…. good!"

"Yeah, but you didn't have to announce it."

"Well, Mike was thinking of sucking on them and stuff involving the pop tart on your face." He smiled.

"Edward if you stepped up to every guy like that then I wouldn't have any friends. And who said it was a thought, what makes you think it wasn't a memory. Just because I said you were mine, don't mean I'm yours."

"what the hell is that suppose to mean Bella?" Edward said sarcastically. "Well, are you mine or what?" Edward was now staring at Bella's private area. Bella slapped him upside the head, "Pervert!"

"What was that for?" asked Edward. "You know what you did!" replied Bella. "Well, it's not my fault your so irritable!" said Edward.

"Really, well stop that!" Bella replied staring at Edward's package. Edward was showing it off to her when he read her mind and found out she was looking at and Bella thought, "Man, what I would do to him tonight!"

"Like what you see?" He asked smugly. "Yep. Yum." She replied seductively. "Well, what should we do about your craving?" He bared his teeth.

"Well, I would prefer Mike but I guess I can take you tonight." Bella said while watching Edward get jealous. "You know it turns me on watching you get jealous of a poor defenseless human. Charlie is going to be out tonight. You wouldn't mind coming over would you? At this Edward smiled.

"Hells yeah! You know I would especially for you or Jessica." Edward said sarcastically. Bella looked up at his face and said, "Oh really, well I guess you don't want this," Bella was improvising her body towards Edwards. Edward stood in shock when something happened to poked out his pants.

"You're needy." She said while pulling him to English. "But you're going to have to wait." She said while grabbing his are then releasing.


	2. Chapter 2

For Edward and Bella English dragged on super slow. So they decided to skip the rest of the day and go to Edward's house instead.

While at Edward's house, they got busy. Bella took the Error Proof Test and found out she was going to have a little Edward Baby. Se told Edward, "I'm pregnant and so you wanna do it again, this time sexier?"

"Oh yeah! But we have to be careful because of the new baby." Edward replied.

"Hey! You were screwing so hard the whole house shook!" Emmett yelled from the other room. "Me and Rosalie weren't doing any of the screwing- the house was doing it for us!" Emmett yelled again while Rosalie screamed in ecstasy.

"Wow. Was it that bad?" Bella asked. "I wouldn't say bad is the right word; great is more like it." Edward said. "Well, you wanna go again or am I too much for you?" Bella replied. "Let's go, I got all my life." Edward replied. Then Edward kissed Bella slowly on the lips, when Bella went crazy and it went from slow to fast: tongue, French kissing. Then you heard Bella say, "Oh My Edward, don't stop, it feels sooo… good!"

"Keep going Edward! Let's have twins!" Bella screamed. "This might be a bad time to mention Mike is totally thinking this right now except with him instead of me."

"Well, I'd be a little creeped out if he was thinking of it with just us; and even more if he popped in." Bella stated while having orgasm.

When they were done and breathing hard, Edward said, "What do you wanna do now?" Bella sighed and said, "get off me you fire breathing vampire you!" Edward stared at her and then replied, "Not if you don't tell me what you want to do now?"

"I want to go pee!" She rushed to the bathroom. When she got back from the potty, Edward had a candlelit dinner waiting for her. Bella was so happy she almost cried. "OMG" Bella managed to get out, "Edward you're amazing!" Edward replied, "I know I'm good in bed too! I can't sleep for days!"

"Ha, Ha. Very funny." She laughed sarcastically. He lightly kissed her forehead then pulled a chair out for her. "I love you and the baby inside you."

"Well, I obviously love you to, or I wouldn't have slept with you!" Bella said. "Where's your family anyways?"

"They all went shopping in Portland. I thought that was going to be a good idea." Edward said as he kissed her lips again.


End file.
